homework

Throughout the fall, it seemed like everyone was talking about Sonship,Friends recommended we do it in preparation for Tanzania, and so we are. The deal is this: For about 8 months, you listen to talks, read material, do 'homework' and speak with a trained mentor person every two weeks. 

At the heart of Sonship is the idea that even though Christians believe that Christ has not only set us free from death and judgment, but has ALSO, amazingly, made us sons and daughters of God--we still essentially act like 'orphans'. Trying to prove our worthiness to everyone (and ourselves) all the time. 

This week's 'homework' was, "For one week: 

Do not gossip (or spread a bad report)

Do not complain

Do not criticize

Do not blame shift

Do not defend yourself

Do not boast

Do not deceive others

But do: Affirm and build others up according to their needs"

And then to keep a log of what you actually end up saying. Or thinking. Things I've noticed: 

• I'm kind of ok (when I'm not tired and hungry and grouchy) at not expressing my criticisms or complaints out loud all the time, but I'll definitely think them--constantly (don't we call them 'critical thinking skills'?) 
• It's easy for me to pass gossiping off as some kind of benevolent paternalistic, "Don't you think So-and-So has been too this-and-that lately? How can we help him/her?"
• I kept finding ways to justify complaining: things need to improve in our workplace! In this marriage! In our society! We should not stand for inefficiency! Inertia! Inequality! Ineptitude!
• I can also pass off blame-shifting as "seeing all sides of the picture". What cosmic injustice would it be if I were to just admit the part where I was wrong and leave it at that?
• I'm good at not "boasting" in the way Asian parents teach you not to boast, but also like Asians (though it's not exclusive to Asians I know) I'm great at still drawing attention to myself with self-deprecation and false humility. Sigh.
• It's extremely difficult not to defend myself. My idol is approval after all--I want to set the record straight!

With all the recent food allergies, I've been good at keeping track of what I eat. Keeping track of what I say has proven to be more interesting than I thought or wanted it to be.

The promise: 

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor 3:5

His grace is enough.