thanks

It's almost my 3 month anniversary here. Inspired by the holiday just past, I've been collecting little moments that have warmed the heart and brought smiles to the face.

Just this morning, I was walking around the Jackie O reservoir in Central Park; warm breezes, a million sparkles on the water, the i-podded masses of runners, children wiping out on rollerblades and instantly back on their feet for more, the quintessential saxophonist offering up jazz standards under a wrought-iron bridge; almost enough to make you forget that there's a city out there too.

Though there's little doubt that they will turn me into a pretentious supermarket snob, the teeny tiny neighbourhood markets are really something: porcini mushroom infused olive oil, Republic of Tea peach and apple blossom tea, fresh challah, fresh mahi mahi and Lindt Intense Pear chocolate; all complemented by homey red brick walls and perfect lighting.

On the extremely rare occasion that my husband is off work before I am, enjoying his hot, home-cooked dinner which will inevitably include lap cheung on rice. Lap cheung, like shrimp chips, and gung zhai mein truly are, Asian foods of the gods.

Getting hand-written letters, cards and text messages from old friends who have been living in what feels like far-off countries for what feels like forever. Delightedly ringing up C&B customers who I discover are Canadian by their credit cards. Hello Montreal, Halifax and Calgary...no Toronto yet. And though the books are beginning to border on formulaic, laughing out loud at truly brilliant moments in the Lemony Snicket series.

***

Then...we sang this in church tonight:

"My goal is God Himself, not joy nor peace, nor even blessing but Himself, my God."

I confuse blessings for God. No good blessings, no good God, right? And writing up these moments reminds me of the many, many blessings for which I am thankful. But it's really time to work on not confusing God's goodness with blessings. As Tim Keller says, in life, all the things we find comfort in other than God, are gonna come crashing down. Build on God. Ungrit those teeth, un-grimace that face and get on with it.

joy and toil

So this week I did some Crate and Barrel'ing AND Amnesty work. I had fun, met colorful, fascinating people, and learned a lot at both gigs. Some other promising opportunities may be coming my way, I will report back when the time is right.

Til then, some more Robert Frost for the career soul searchers:

My object in living is to
unite
My avocation and my
vocation,
As my two eyes make one
in sight.
Only where love and need
are one,
And the work is play for
mortal stakes,
Is the deed every really
done
For heaven and the
future's sakes.

-"Two Tramps in Mud Time"

the road she took

I met J at a wedding in October. There was a lot of shrieking as the layers of our connectedness were revealed.

J and her doctor husband T live in our building and attend Redeemer. Like my husband, T went to Cornell, and so of course, attended the legendary CBS whose members I fear have permeated every major city on this planet.

T grew up in Toronto, about 0.08 kilometres from our house. He went to the same Catholic elementary school as I, can sing the 'Polka Dot Door' AND the 'Today’s Special' theme songs, and feels deep kinship with Tim Horton's.

But there’s more. J and T were married in Knox Chapel, and their first, post-married meal was at Swiss Chalet. Which is nearly exactly what we did, only three years afterwards.

But onwards we must proceed, to the real point of this post.

J is an eldest Asian child of three and I share her story in hopes of inspiring any career soul searchers out there. As an undergrad, she fell asleep in law classes but was intrigued by public policy and education reform. Internships and jobs in these areas led her to pursue a Masters in Public Policy at NYU (to the dismay of her parents whose aspirations for her were law school as it is one of the most respectable choices for any Asian whose forte is not math).

Smart girl that she was, J signed onto be an NYC Teaching Fellow, so as not to become an education reformer who has never actually taught in a classroom. But she was appalled and dismayed at the hostility she faced as an “outsider” to the school where she was placed. Six months of having the other teachers basically ignore her and she was outta there.

Her next stint was in non-profit management in a place that shall not be named. But I can name lack of professionality in her colleagues, lack of stimulation and learning on her job as reasons why she was restless. A totally unexpected opportunity arose when a totally unexpected contact at this troubled non-profit asked her to become an assistant in the fashion industry. Fashion! J continues to take VERY stimulating courses in design, and is now challenged and generally thrilled in her work.

Moral of this story as I see it: there’s no one way, especially not for the un-mainstream Asians who aren’t in engineering, finance etc. And this is totally not to disrespect all my beloved engineering friends out there because you CAN honour God with your career by doing what stimulates and challenges you--whether it's programming, saving the world or selling intimate apparel. But J would warn that it's hard to keep up with saving the world, on your own steam after awhile.

I know my insights are pretty basic stuff. Still, I'm excited to know J as I'm very into mentoring, and see that there's a lot potential to find mentors in more mainstream Asian careers like healthcare, engineering, education--but much less for those who aren't taking those paths. But whether mainstream or not, I think there's a big need for mentors out there. If you can--be one. If you want one, ask!

Random tidbits

*For the New Yorkers: friends of ours are launching a NEW taxi-sharing service tomorrow, check it out! www.hitchsters.com

*For the moms to be (and concerned citizens everywhere who do not wish their humanity to be reduced to consumerism): While visiting a new mom in my hubby's hospital, I discovered to my horror and fascination that Chanel delivers fancy goodie bags to moms in their recovery rooms. Full size super expensive stuff! I'm somewhat disgusted, yet now have the goodies in my possession.

*For Crate and Barrel shoppers: Did you know that each hand-blown wine glass you purchase there (for $7.99) requires the skills of 18-20 live people, probably located in Poland? Did you also know that they shine their floors to less than perfectly shiny so as not to distract from their products?

*For those interested in human rights, especially for women and in Sudan: I am officially interning at Amnesty International next week. Kind of intimidated by the knowledge needed and discombobulation this kind of work engenders, but I'll try it out anyway.

juxtapose part deux

Today, I started "working" at Crate and Barrel.

I was SO amused the whole time. And SO staking out items upon which I will waste nearly all my pay cheques. That's right, "CHEQUES".

O Canada, my home and native land!

Today, I also applied to work on Amnesty International's campaign to end violence against women in Darfur.

What do we call this, two roads diverged in New York city, and I took both?

juxtapose

New friend C gave birth to twins today.
Dad is a die-hard Star Wars fan. Luke and Leia?
In another hospital right down the street, new friend E is dying of cancer.
She is a die-hard Yankees fan. Charmingly cantankerous to the end.
My mother gave up one of her beloved cats to the animal shelter.
She'll never get over it.
Today I decided to work at Crate and Barrel.
Just for fun. Just for the holidays.

There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret
Or life is yours to miss
No other road
No other way
No day but today
~from Rent

"there's something here"

After 15 hours in the hospital, my husband came home at 9 AM. We pretty much jumped into a cab right away and headed down towards city hall for the interview at 10:30.

The scene inside was what you would expect: colorful families, crying babies, anxious looking couples clutching gigantic accordian files of proof, hanging onto their lawyers for dear life.

An hour and half of waiting...watching a security guard with sniffing dog do his rounds...D trying to catch some precious moments of sleep, then--"Chan, is there a Chan here?"

We had the nicest interviewer ever, it was unbelievable.

-he joked with us RIGHT away, no tough guy act first then a chill out later, right away he was NICE (!!)
-he put us at ease (And I quote: "there's clearly something here, I have no problems with your marriage at all", "it's refreshing to talk with a real couple")
-he told us he would need to take some of our photos, and would we be ok picking the ones we'd have the least trouble replacing? (would we????)

No harassment, no awkward questions--except a couple at the end that I REALLY could not listen to with a straight face, e.g. "Have you ever been and do you ever plan to be a prostitute?"

So I'm now a big step closer to citizenship. We are amazed at how smoothly it went, and thank EVERYONE who prayed, got our mail, made some, cough cough, calls for us, gave moral support, and excellent 'unofficial lawyerly' advice. We could not have done it without you!

t minus 9 hours

Interview tomorrow morning, 10:30 AM.

I think I'm ready.

No maam, I am not planning to take another husband in the United States.
I have never, ever been involved in any terrorist activity in my entire life.
And I absolutely did not marry him just for his money and good looks.