Advice to Boys
Not that there are many boys who read this, but STILL I must:
1. Please don't interrupt when we apologize by pointing out OTHER stuff that we *MAY HAVE*, *allegedly*, according to YOUR perspective, "done wrong"
2. Please don't make us feel like crap when we share how we're feeling rotten/sad/frustrated about something by:
a) telling us that it's not so bad
b) telling us what to DO
c) inappropriately changing the subject before you've responded in a HELPFUL way
3. There is a RIGHT TIME for doing 2a and 2b, and even, on very rare occasions, 2c--but RIGHT AFTER we've shared about something really important TO US, is simply NOT THE TIME
4. Every once in awhile, not even everyday, express your appreciation for all the behind the scenes, butt-busting work we do. This is a very good idea.
Sigh.
1. Please don't interrupt when we apologize by pointing out OTHER stuff that we *MAY HAVE*, *allegedly*, according to YOUR perspective, "done wrong"
2. Please don't make us feel like crap when we share how we're feeling rotten/sad/frustrated about something by:
a) telling us that it's not so bad
b) telling us what to DO
c) inappropriately changing the subject before you've responded in a HELPFUL way
3. There is a RIGHT TIME for doing 2a and 2b, and even, on very rare occasions, 2c--but RIGHT AFTER we've shared about something really important TO US, is simply NOT THE TIME
4. Every once in awhile, not even everyday, express your appreciation for all the behind the scenes, butt-busting work we do. This is a very good idea.
Sigh.
posted by Duncan and Jen | 11:29 AM
5 Comments:
hm.. i wonder what has made you post this. nonetheless.. HERE HERE! - sooj
Thanks for finally putting this stuff in writing!
I will have to ensure that my husband reads these tonight!!
I love you married women!!
OK...My turn to chime in...
1) Change all the he's to she's and the him's to her's (not that there are any) and that one can apply both ways ;)
2) c) aren't we to listen/hear out, and not offer anything (helpful or otherwise----because it's usually otherwise)
4) Good point. If my love tank is full I will do this! But if my love tank is low, then I could just as easily say I do as much butt-busting work.
Sigh.
dbush: your thoughts are appreciated. re. point 2c--'a helpful response' to me includes the asking of probing questions, which is the mark of a GOOD listener agreed? Probing questions, head nodding, sympathetic looking eyes, all very helpful responses. =)
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